Entry Fifteen: You Better Watch Out (1980)

You Better Watch Out (1980-AKA Christmas Evil, Terror In Toyland)

Dir: Lewis Jackson

"Better watch out...Better not cry...Or you may DIE!"


In 1947, two boys, younger Phillip and older Harry, witness Santa Claus arriving down their chimney.  While Phillip is convinced it's their father in disguise, Harry truly believes.  Later, unable to sleep, Harry creeps downstairs and witnesses "Santa Claus" making time with his mother.  Enraged, Harry smashes his treasured snow globe and uses a shard of glass to slice his hand.

Years later, pathetic, middle-aged Harry (Brandon Maggert, Dressed to Kill) lives in an apartment full of Santa memorabilia and spends his free time creepily spying upon the neighborhood children, of whom he's compiled "naughty" and "nice" lists.  This poor schlub works as the line manager at a toy factory and is scorned by his more successful younger brother (Jeffrey DeMunn, Dale from TV's The Walking Dead).  Harry grows increasingly frustrated by his callous co-workers and corporate bosses, none of whom understand the "true" meaning of Christmas.  After a particularly rough Christmas party, during which he discovers that his company is lying about charitable donations, Harry snaps.  Donning a Santa suit and glued-on beard and tooling around in a van with a sleigh and reindeer painted on the side, he doles out gifts to good children, coal to naughty ones, and kills the ever-loving shit out of his scumbag CEO, a co-worker who claimed to hate Christmas and a trio of yuppies who mock his holiday spirit.  After being saved by children from vigilantes, Harry has a final confrontation with Phillip and is chased through the streets by citizens bearing FUCKING TORCHES until his van...and I can't fucking believe I'm writing this...LIFTS OFF INTO THE SKY, and Harry is transformed into the TRUE Santa Claus.

Holy shit.  This film is fairly difficult to wrap my brain around.  For the first 45 minutes, it comes off as a vaguely pedophilic Taxi Driver riff, then segues into a slasher flick before veering into outright fantasy.  I WILL admit that, looking back to my own childhood and remembering how badly I wanted to believe in Santa Claus, I can buy that an unbalanced adult could carry that need for belief into adulthood and be willing to kill to preserve it.  It's also refreshing to watch a film that endorses/reinforces the "Christmas spirit" in a totally secular manner (if you still think of Christmas as a Christian holiday, you're fucking kidding yourself).  A few notes: Brandon Maggart is GREAT as Harry, the sound design was done by the late Sally Menke, who edited all of Tarrantino's films through Inglorious Basterds, and John Waters has proclaimed this to be his favorite Christmas movie of all time...