Entry 120: Sorceress (AKA Temptress-1995)

Sorceress (AKA Temptress-1995)

Dir: Jim Wynorski

"She gets what she wants.  She keeps what she gets.  She never lets go."

Well, it's been about six weeks of silence, but I can remain silent no longer.  I've felt like something's been missing from my life, and I knew that the only way to fill that hole was to journey back into the Basement of Sleaze, but I couldn't do it alone; this trip would require me to once again enlist the aid of BOS all-star Linda Blair.  Join me now, as I journey down into the basement and attempt to resist the supernatural wiles of the Sorceress...

This “film (and I use that term lightly)” begins with with an extended full-frontal scene of an exceedingly-sweaty Julie Strain (Double Impact, Heavy Metal 2000) gyrating and fondling her silicon-enhanced body while indulging in some sort of satanic ritual designed to bring harm to her ex-husband (Edward Albert, Galaxy of Terror, Killer Bees).  It totally works, as his car goes careening off of a mountain road!  Julie is caught in the act by her current husband (Larry Poindexter, Night Eyes, Dead of Night), who slightly overreacts by pitching her off their deck railing to her death!  Months later, Albert is recovering from his accident with some help from his current wife (Blair) and his law partner (motherfucking Blacula himself, William Marshall), while Poindexter (now a junior partner at Albert’s firm) is haunted by visions of Strain.  Being a softcore flick, the visions this “haunted” man experiences consist mostly of tit-bouncing fuck scenes.  Deciding that “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone,” Poindexter enters into an affair with ex-girlfriend Rochelle Swanson (star of Illicit Dreams and T-Force which, sadly, has nothing to do with Mr. T) and we’re treated to more softcore sex, including Swanson kissing Poindexter’s ass for an uncomfortably long time.  Poindexter takes a case defending a man accused of murdering his family (Then Came Bronson’s Michael Parks, in the middle of a post-Twin Peaks, pre-Tarantino/Rodriguez career slump), who claims that Strain was the real murderer and attempts to kill Poindexter!  Jesus, for a movie designed primarily to allow adolescent boys lucky enough to grow up in a house with cable the opportunity to see a couple of boobs, this thing is goddamn convoluted!  Beyond the aforementioned, the following things occur in this movie:

-Poindexter does the bone dance with yet another woman (43 year-old Toni Naples, Deathstalker 2, Chopping Mall, who, like a white, female Danny Glover, looks too old for this shit) who has a vague link to Strain.

-Parks threatens Albert and Blair and heat-packing Blair blows him away with a hand cannon!

--Blair uses a bloody pentagram to somehow eavesdrop on Pondexter and Swanson’s pillow talk and forces Swanson to masturbate to visions of leather-clad Strain and Naples (the first thing I’d do if I was granted Satanic powers!).  I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out that this scene features an uncomfortably long shot of Strain licking Swanson’s ass.  

-Swanson gets possessed by Strain, dyes her hair black and tries to rape Poindexter.

Not that ANY of this makes sense, but it turns out that Strain, Blair and Naples are witches from the same coven; Blair has been manipulating Poindexter and Swanson in retaliation for what Strain did to Albert, and “good” witch Naples has been trying to stop it.  It turns out that Blair, not Strain, has possessed Swanson, and she uses her to murder two of Poindexter’s friends (who were only guilty of helping him paint his house).  Will Linda win, or will someone save Poindexter at the last minute?  Will this movie end with a bizarre, inexplicable plot twist?  You bet your ass it will!

For obvious reasons, this movie was a Cinemax staple in the mid-90s, and even had a brief showing (in a heavily truncated form) on USA’s “Up All Nite” programming block before it’s demise.  This is a straight-up T&A flick, but director Wynorski (who, inexplicably, is a close friend of legendary SF author Harlan Ellison in real life and also made the highly-undervalued Return of Swamp Thing-yes, you read it here; if you’re not down with Return of Swamp Thing, I have no use for you), along with Strain and most of the cast, is aware enough of what kind of movie he’s making to raise the camp value of the picture to near-eleven volumes, making this at least mildly entertaining for folks who aren't part of the typical "Skinemax" jerkoff crowd.  The same cannot be said of Blair (very near her current, born-again Christian phase), whose boredom/indifference clashes with the “fuck it, let’s have fun!” nature of the rest of this ridiculous movie.  I truly believe that, had she given her all in D-level films like this, Blair would've received some sort of (at least minor) career revival by now.   Wynorski wrote the screenplay for 1982's Sorceress, which is a sword 'n sorcery flick that has absolutely nothing to do with this movie.