Entry Forty-Six: Savage Island (1985)

Savage Island (1985)

Dir: Ted Nicolaou

"Justice is another word for revenge!"




 In between the critical and commercial failure of Exorcist II: the Heretic and becoming a born-again Christian, Linda Blair starred in a string of cut-rate exploitation flicks, including this one.  Join me down in the Basement of Sleaze as we take a little vacation to Savage Island!

After an introductory scene in which a woman buried to her shoulders in sand is suffocated by a boa constrictor, we're introduced to Daly (Blair), a hard-as-fuck, uzi-packing vigilante.  She infiltrates the lair of slimy crime boss Luker (Leon Askin, TV's Hogan's Heroes) after killing security guard Penn Jillette.  Seems that Lukin runs "Emerald Island," from which Daly escaped.  In flashback, she recounts an ordeal of women kidnapped and forced to work (scantily-clad, of course) in gem mines, whipped and tortured if they're unable to meet quota.  Thankfully, a group of macho jewel thieves (who can't stand seeing women victimized and all sport FANTASTIC mustaches!) have infiltrated the island disguised as guards.  With the help of these swarthy saboteurs, the enslaved ladies manage to stage a revolt and overthrow their overseers!  Back in the present, Daly blows away Luker and steals a large emerald. 

That's about as much plot as I can muster from this one, folks; it's a cut-and-paste job made up from two other features, Hotel Paradise and Escape to Hell (both 1980), with new framing segments and redubbing by Nicolaou (Subspecies).  As such, there's no coherent story to speak of, characters come and go with no explanation, and lead jewel thief Laredo (Anthony Steffen, who was in both Hotel Paradise and Escape from Hell) has facial hair that comes and goes depending upon which movie a given scene comes from.  Blair (whose character is meant to be a survivor of the "Emerald Island" excape) doesn't appear in any of the flashback scenes!  Savage Island producer Charles Band would go on to employ Nicolaou for several of his Full Moon features.  Only Blair devotees need seek this one out; anyone else interested should track down the unedited originals.