Entry Thirty: Tango & Cash (1989)

Tango & Cash (1989)

Dir: Andrei Konchalovsky

"Two of L.A.'s top rival cops are going to have to work together... Even if it kills them."

In my very first, introductory entry of this blog, I mentioned (among many other things) that I'd probably, eventually cover some 80's action movies (a genre very near and dear to my heart).  I figured I'd probably start with Commando or I Come In Peace or maybe even a Cannon Group Chuck Norris movie; instead, I pulled this sublimely ridiculous buddy cop movie out of my dirty, greasy hat...

Ray Tango (Sylvester Stallone) and Gabe Cash (Kurt Russell) are rival L.A. hero cops who are forced to work together after being framed for murder by arms & drug dealer Jack Palance (who devours every scene he's in and has a weird mouse fetish).  Hilariously, every time Tango or Cash makes a bust, it's front page news with their names emblazoned on the headline (can you name even one cop who works in your city?  I'm just asking...).  Anyway, they go to prison, make fun of each other's dicks a lot in the shower, escape, meet up with Stallone's go-go dancer sister, Kiki (TV's Teri Hatcher), and take down Palance and clear their names.  Did I mention Russell gets to dress in drag?

As far as 1980s buddy cop pictures go, this doesn't reach the heights of Lethal Weapon or 48 Hours, but it's got a weird charm all it's own, due mostly to the supporting cast:  James Hong (Blade Runner, Big Trouble in Little China) and Brion James (Flesh + Blood, Southern Comfort) as henchmen, Robert Z'Dar (Maniac Cop, Cherry 2000) and Clint Howard (Evilspeak, Ice Cream Man) as inmates, Eddie Bunker (Reservoir Dogs) as a police captain and Michael J. Pollard (Bonnie and Clyde, Candy the Stripper) as the LAPD's version of "Q", who builds the boys a nitrous-fueled, bulletproof SUV (I told you this movie was ridiculous!).  Russell (who I've always enjoyed) seems to be having fun and it's amusing to watch Stallone try to play the "smart" character (he stretches his range by donning a pair of glasses and attempting to clip his usual slurred delivery).  And where else are you going to see Jack Palance looking like he's about to cum while fondling a mouse?