Entry Twenty-Nine: Chatterbox (1977)

Chatterbox (1977)

Dir: Tom DeSimone

"It speaks for itself!"

 "What would you say if I told you my vagina...Could TALK?!?!"  Yes, this is the infamous softcore talking vagina movie...
 
 Penelope Pittman (Candice Rialson, Hollywood Boulevard, Candy Stripe Nurses) has a problem; her vagina has spontaneously, and without explanation, gained independent sentience and the ability to speak and, more importantly, sing beautifully.  After ruining her relationship with her well-to-do boyfriend, Ted, this caroling clitoris endangers her hairdressing job by making passes at a lesbian client ("want to meet me down at the Y?"), advances that are unwelcome by her homophobic boss, Mr. Jo (Rip Taylor; casting the flamboyant Taylor as a homophobe is the height of this film's "wit").  Penelope consults with Dr. Pearl (Larry Gelman, Dreamscape, Einstein in the Command and Conquer computer game series), who soon becomes the first "doctor/agent" and makes Penelope's serenading sex organ (now dubbed "Virginia") a television star.  After a run-in with the cops and some troubles with her unscrupulous, financially-motivated mother, Penelope ends up on a Dating Game-style show, where she meets Dick (Michael Taylor, Escape from New York, Foxes), who woos her in a FULL-ON SUIT OF MEDIEVAL ARMOR...HOLY SHIT (I'm going to keep close tabs on Mrs. Basement of Sleaze next time we go to the Renaissance Festival)!  Dick, however, proves to be interested in Penelope and Virginia only for the fame and personal gain, and, after a failed attempt at a movie career, the free-spirited Penelope and her vocal Virginia meet up again with Ted, who reveals he has a singing penis.

I'll be honest, this is a dumb, dumb, DUMB, one-joke movie, and Rialson is really the only reason to watch it.  She gives a better performance than the film deserves, gamely appears naked throughout much of it's duration, and her natural sense of comedic timing makes Penelope genuinely likeable.  Sadly, she gave up acting at the end of the 70s and passed away in 2006.  Director DeSimone (AKA porno director Lancer Brooks) would later go on to work with Linda Blair in Hell Night.