Entry 75: The House on Sorority Row (1983)

The House on Sorority Row (1983)

Dir: Mark Rosman

"Sisters in life.  Sisters in death."

 

After (briefly) talking about slashers with a friend at work today, I decided it was time to revisit that most prolific of horror sub-genres.  Join me now, as I get rude, nude, wasted and...um...dead with the girls at The House on Sorority Row!

After a 1961-set prologue in which a Mrs. Slater miscarries a child, we flash forward to 1981, in which the girls of the Pi-Pheta sorority are planning on hosting their graduation party in their closed-for-the-season sorority house, much to the chagrin of their unstable house mom, the previously mentioned Mrs. Slater.  This motley group of gals includes smart, responsible Kate (Kristen Stewart prototype Kate McNeil, Monkey Shines, Sudden Death), ditzy Liz (Janis Ward) and, best of all, sexy, smoking, hard-drinking, pistol-toting (my kinda gal!) Vicki (Eileen Davidson, Goin' All the Way!, a shitload of soap operas your mom watches).  After the opening salvo of their reverie is interrupted by an irate Slater, the girls propose a toast: "To Mrs. Slater!  The house mother to end all house mothers!"  They're not fucking kidding, as the demented old coot bursts in to Vicki's bedroom while she's fucking her Jew-fro sporting boyfriend, slashing her waterbed and drenching them both!  Vicki vows vengeance, and accidentally blows away the old bag in a prank gone awry.  The other girls agree to cover it up, and they unceremoniously dump the curmudgeon's corpse in a fetid swimming pool.  That night, the graduation party continues with a terrible proto-new wave band with atrocious hair, and the bloodshed begins as a fat, mustached partygoer is killed in the woods by an unseen assailant!  After several of the sisters are killed, Kate discovers a creepy-as-shit, dollhouse-type room beneath the sorority house filled with clown paraphernalia (this was the shitting-myself moment for this film; I, like all rational people, hate and distrust clowns).  Eventually, Vicki is slaughtered by someone wielding Slater's cane and boring Kate is (predictably) left as the "final girl" to face the mad killer with Vicki's pistol (if you want to know the identity of the killer, watch the damn movie!).  The insane finale DOES include clown masks, daggers, identity reveals and a sense of closure not often found in the slasher genre.  I dug it.

This Halloween/Friday the 13th cash-in features a lamentable lack of gore or naked female flesh (perhaps owing to director Rosman's future as a Disney TV employee), but features stylish, engaging direction by Rosman and acceptable, even winning, performances by its young cast, as well as decent production values.  The (actually pretty damn good) score is by Richard Band, of Re-Animator and a thousand Full Moon flicks.  This is a fun, stylish, worthwhile entry into the slasher canon; check it out!